Battle to Accept the Fullness of Who I Am

I always thought I am a confident person, and always thought I have been accepting me completely. As a whole. And by that I mean my positive and negative sides. But I guess I have only just learned that I only just starting to accept me completely. I realized my biggest struggle was to love my own feelings. The negative ones. My anxiety. Panick attacks. Insecurity. Those moments where its just too cloudy up in my head to realized how awesome I actually am. And yes, I have those moments regularly. And usually I hated it and rejected it.

There was one time I even rejected my alpha female side. Because I thought it was too masculine. So I stopped leading. I stopped “chasing” things. But Since it wasn’t me, I could only do it for a few months, until someone told me “What are you doing? Why are you dimming your lights and being a shadow? This is not you!” His words woke me up! It is OK to be that. I can have both feminine and masculine sides in me, I just need to know how to manage them, not KILL one of them.

As for my anxieties, my insecurities and fear, now I learn, quoting Matthew Hussey, “Remember, part of coping with insecurities is recognising that others have them too”.

I am not alone. Everybody that walks in this planet has their own battle. From then on, I learn to accept those flaws as my strength. How is it insecurities become strength? By sharing it! I will not hide it and deny it anymore. Having my own insecurities, triggers and battles makes me understand yours better. And because now I am open and sharing it, I hope it can inspire others to come forward and share, and know that you are not alone. That you are still awesome despite of your problems. That you are enough, no matter what hell you need to go through.

And for what its worth, sharing you this is a form of me accepting me wholly, no exception. And I hope you will do the same to you.

Allow That Loving Relationship To Happen

The loving relationship that you’ve always wanted WILL come to you but once you let go and give up the battle. Giving up the battle doesn’t mean that you’re giving up on love. It only means you stop forcing things to happen. It means you stop taking too much effort and too much action to make a relationship happen. What you have to do is easier, ALLOW it to happen.

Allowing things to happen means you float, you follow down stream and not fighting against the current. It means you are not looking for a partner from a place of lack. It is getting to be the best version of you so you attract the best version of a man you want. It’s all mindset and emotion work.

It’s about you tapped into your feminine energy. The energy that is nurturing, receptive, vulnerable and soft. Its about you loving yourself first. Its about you knowing your value and worth. It is about you believing 100% that what you want IS coming your way! It is going to happen, so allow it to happen!

If you’re hoping to have the best relationship right now, I can help you out tapping into the right energy, your feminine energy, finding your blocks and old limitation belief, and with my unique capability reading your handwriting (graphology), you will have the best combo into letting that blissful relationship, the one you’ve always wanted to come to you.

I have 5 one on one coaching spot for March, and I have 10 spots for email handwriting analysis reading to know your strength, weakness, and opportunity. You can private message me Cheryl Maria Marella or go to my website

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Remember ladies, you are worth it, you are the Queen!
Cheryl Marella

Life Without Resistance

Have you ever feel like you need to struggle so much for you to make things happened?

I recently lost my dog, and I was pretty upset and frustrated. I din’t want him to go missing. What would he be eating? What if he tried to cross the street and got hit by a car? What if somebody found him and keep him? Would I ever going to find him? I didn’t realized all these thinking are resistance to what is, and it is coming from fear, and it is keeping me away from finding him. Continue reading “Life Without Resistance”

Be Here Now

I can’t remember how many times in my younger years, I said ‘never’ for things that I do now. For example, I used to say ‘ I will never have tattoos’ and now I do. Or ‘ I will never stop reading Gadis’ but now I do, and ‘ I will never stop partying and getting a little too much to drink ‘ and now I only party once in a while with almost no drink. The list can go on forever. But the point is, it is impossible to know what’s going to happen and what are you going to feel even in the next minute, so why bother taking a pledge? The key is to be in the moment. I should’ve listen to Bieber, Never say Never, huh! Continue reading “Be Here Now”

Do You Need to be This Angry?

The world is mad. And the people are angry.

Anger by definition is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.

Let’s go deeper into this. The sentence ‘you feel has deliberately done you wrong’ comes from an egotistic place. Making you feel like a victim. Ego is driven by, what else but our big enemy: Fear. Continue reading “Do You Need to be This Angry?”

And I’ll Remember the Way That You Changed Me

It’s funny how a song can tell your story. And it happened to me today. Sharing this to you is making me feel so vulnerable. But, that’s the point, right?

Today I randomly listened to Madonna’s “I’ll Remember”. And boy, it was like a blast from the past. The whole song, describes my whole journey of 2015. I realized I have met a particular person and a group of people who changed my life… for the better! Continue reading “And I’ll Remember the Way That You Changed Me”

How To Choose Wisely the People in Your Inner Circle

“The people you surround yourself with are excellent mirrors for who you are and how much, or how little, you love yourself”*

Whether we like it or not, the closest people in our circle do influence us in a lot of things. How we value ourselves and things, the lifestyle, the mirror to us. And the things that stand out the most for us are the things that reminds us about ourselves. We all have our own reality, a product from all of our experiences since our brain could began to remember. And your reality is based on what you are focusing on and how you interpret it. Continue reading “How To Choose Wisely the People in Your Inner Circle”

A Letter to 2015

Just like everybody else in the world, I did make a NY resolution for 2015. It wasn’t a long list, but all of them are mostly require me to do a leap of faith to get done. My list were: Finishing my master degree, take acting class in Sydney / NYC, quit my jobs and live overseas, travel the world, and last but not least: End it in Bali. And I’ve ticked every single one of this! But it wasn’t an easy journey. Continue reading “A Letter to 2015”

How Much do You Think You’re Worth?

“If you could see yourself as those in spirit see you, you would never feel doubt or fear again” ~Denise Linn

Have you ever had a situation where you questioned whether or not you are worthy to be loved? And when you realized that the person might not reciprocate, or falling further away from you, there’s an insecurity feeling creeping deep in your heart, that gives you anxiety, and fear of what’s going to happen next in the future. Then your mind tells you that you’re gonna get rejected. And that’s exactly what happened. Then frustration, sadness, anger, pain and heart break is all that you can feel. Continue reading “How Much do You Think You’re Worth?”