Do You Need to be This Angry?

The world is mad. And the people are angry.

Anger by definition is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.

Let’s go deeper into this. The sentence ‘you feel has deliberately done you wrong’ comes from an egotistic place. Making you feel like a victim. Ego is driven by, what else but our big enemy: Fear.

When someone is angry, the scream, the yell, they shout and go mental and nuts, what do you think they actually want to get? “It’s to be heard”. And what is the problem? It’s acceptance of “what is”.

You are angry because “what is” is not what you want. But let’s face the fact. Can it be changed? No. at least most of the time the answer is No. So what can you do? Accept what is. If you can change the situation then do it. If you can’t, accept! There is nowhere around it. Make peace with what is. Because what you resist persist, right? And that is the truth.

I used to be such an angry person. And I resist everything. Especially about my country. I hated everything. But all I felt was suffering. Because hating on it leads me to resentment and anger. But does the country changed after I made a public freakout demo? No. Does the country changed after I hate on it? No. Does the country gotten any better after I screamed and cursed? No. Did I suffer? Yes.

So then what good does it do being angry like that? Nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a good and classy way when you are angry. And it can only be done when you master self-control. Of course anger is healthy to let out, we are only human, right? But you don’t need to embarrass yourself doing it. Lashing out on public like that and having people video taping you and post it on youtube with title ‘public freakout’ is not a thing we all want, right?

Here are some things you need to know about anger:

There is always pain underneath anger. Identify that pain and triggers so you can let go of it and free yourself from it.
Anger makes you smaller. Why? Because look at that video, that’s why!
Your body, your mind and your spirit MUST be in your control. Not fear’s control or anger’s or ego’s control.
So what to do when you are angry?

First. Relax. Don’t be reactive, give yourself some time to react to whatever angers you.

Second. Reassess. (Quoting from )

Did he (or she) really mean what I think I heard them say? Am I assuming something that needs to be verified?

Is this situation as terrible as it feels right now? Am I possibly exaggerating its significance? taking it too seriously?

Is my notion of this person’s being unfair to me more a reflection of my self-interested bias than the other person’s trying to take advantage of me? Are their interests or concerns maybe just as important, and legitimate, to them as mine are to me [i.e., do all you can to challenge your possible self-righteousness in the matter]?

Can I re-focus my attention on what I actually like about this person—and stop focusing exclusively on this particular behaviour, which clearly I don’t like?


So all in all what I wanna say is,

If you don’t like a situation, change it. No excuses!
Or if it is unchangeable the acceptance is what you need to master.
Release the anger. You don’t need it in your life.


Cheryl Marella

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